Our subconscious mind already knows what it wrong, and what it wants and needs.

However, when we are in unfamilar and uncomfortable situations we doubt ourselves out of uncertainty.

- doubting anything without a phyisical evidence

People who want advice are just wanting others to reassure and confirm what their mind has already made up.

Why is it so easy to give advice to others????

Because the answer is usually VERY clear and evident.

People  need the physical, verbal evidence that their solutions makes sense

Hearing others state these ideas and solutions comfirm them not crazy

Why do we doubt ourselves.....??

There's no one there to tell you you're not   c r a z y   at every moment.

-does that make any sense?

i LOVE family!!!

Mine is crazy, incredible, slightly annoying, hyperactive, happy, helpful, nagging at times (but in a good way), caring, spontaneous, unconditional, dependable, NUTS, loving, beautiful, always there....always, more than i could ever ask for.

........

hows yours????

sooo thanks giving just past... i wasnt looking forward to being in the restaurant, but it actually wasnt that bad... good even... hey if theres family its always gonna be a good time.

Next up.... CHRISTMAS!!  and believe me im excited... cant wait to go to Virginia and see the fam (especially my crazy awsum cuz maria)

Speaking of her... hahaha we most definately had the most enlightening conversation EVER the other day....

CrazyBlondCactus (12:50:17 AM): yoyoyo
"Maria" (12:50:23 AM): YO CUZ
CrazyBlondCactus (12:50:34 AM): hot date tomorrow?
"Maria" (12:50:37 AM): YOU KNOW IT
CrazyBlondCactus (12:50:59 AM): so I here we werent invited to the shin dig lunch with grandma
CrazyBlondCactus (12:51:05 AM): i thought we were going
"Maria" (12:51:17 AM): wtf, no, we are going to lunch ourselves
CrazyBlondCactus (12:51:46 AM): ooo... i see... that should be hot
CrazyBlondCactus (12:52:00 AM): so your gettiin here at 12?
"Maria" (12:52:32 AM): yeah, 12ish, and then the moms are having lunch with grandma, and we are going somewhere else
CrazyBlondCactus (12:54:04 AM): saweett....
"Maria" (12:54:15 AM): yeah, so where should we go? the diner?
CrazyBlondCactus (12:54:19 AM): good old reading... its always bumpin here...
CrazyBlondCactus (12:54:35 AM): especially at 11:00 at night at wendys
"Maria" (12:54:51 AM): hahahaha WHAST
CrazyBlondCactus (12:55:10 AM): (thats wen everything goes down... and... well, you should watch wat you say
"Maria" (12:55:27 AM): I AM NEVER GOING BACK THERE
CrazyBlondCactus (12:56:22 AM): I seem to remember a specific quote.. o h yes "this is where all the no good losers, drug dealers, and LOW LIFES hang out"
CrazyBlondCactus (12:56:39 AM): gooooodd thing you yelled it  out the window
"Maria" (12:56:41 AM): YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT
CrazyBlondCactus (12:56:44 AM): classy
"Maria" (12:56:53 AM): I'LL DENY IT TO THE END
CrazyBlondCactus (12:57:13 AM): haha.... theyll find you first
"Maria" (12:57:19 AM): NEVER
CrazyBlondCactus (12:57:45 AM): ANYHOOO.... diners are always fun
"Maria" (12:57:51 AM): slick nasty
CrazyBlondCactus (12:57:57 AM): im sure well find something
"Maria" (12:58:09 AM): I'm just trying to be down with the cool kids, so we gotta find a place that is hip, AND NOT WENDYS
CrazyBlondCactus (12:58:17 AM): unless your busy knocking other elaborate sticker displays that is
"Maria" (12:58:32 AM): I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
CrazyBlondCactus (12:58:57 AM): hahaha... but obiviously the low lifes are HIP
"Maria" (12:59:14 AM): TRUE DAT
"Maria" (12:59:17 AM): DRUGS FOR LIFE
CrazyBlondCactus (1:00:25 AM): haha
CrazyBlondCactus (1:01:44 AM): alright well im gonna head out
CrazyBlondCactus (1:01:48 AM): remember
CrazyBlondCactus (1:01:57 AM): dont drink and drive
CrazyBlondCactus (1:02:02 AM): alcoholic
"Maria" (1:02:02 AM): DAMN
"Maria" (1:02:06 AM): well there goes tonight's plans
"Maria" (1:02:08 AM): hahahahah you jackass
CrazyBlondCactus (1:02:13 AM): haha
"Maria" (1:02:17 AM): i'll see you tomorrow, COVERED IN BEER BOTTLES
CrazyBlondCactus (1:02:46 AM): lmao... hott deal
CrazyBlondCactus (1:02:57 AM): night
"Maria" (1:02:57 AM): THUG LIFE
"Maria" (1:03:00 AM): nighto

Yeah.... its pretty obvious that were pretty gangster...

haha <33

I have decided to bless you all with an entry!!! First time in just about forever!!!

Sooo.... i dont even know where to begin because i could definately write a novel with everthing that has happened since my last entry... so ill spare you (if you really wanna kno just ask) but heres a summary:

Centia leaving me (forever)
volleyball (yeah we won some.... go us!!!!)
orchestra
chorus
Friendly's (yeah the people that come in there arent quite as friendly as one may hope)
SCHOOL (ugh)
TRUE club (Linda Haft is coming on February 9 and 10.... im AMAZING)
student council
Birthday (woot 17)
going to Syracuse to visit my cousin (that was a party and a half)
BOWLING (and the  birth of my new ball Lafonda)
volleyball leauge (were pretty good....knocked some old lady to the ground last week)
Thanksgiving-no Centia
Christmas-no Centia
New Year's/god's day- which may I say was the best time ever!!! I really love you all so
      much.... when Im with all of you all the craziness just goes away.... Thanks for you
      all... just being you....all my lovely brothers and sisters
(and again no centia)
School again-ewwww
and at last..... CENTIA!!!!!

she was here for one week out of the entire year last week and she only spent 3 days at our house.... ugh. But we had a good time. Bowling, talking and crazy dp's/music videos (if I love u maybe ill show it to u sometime.)

soooo yeah... thank god this week is over!!! My teachers are insane and I had two.... no wait.... 3 break downs in one week....AHHHH NOT GOOD. lol and ironically one of them was on January 11..... my one year anniversary from "the dentist experience" (lol if i havent told you that story yet... well... haha its a good thing).

Anyhoo... Im just soooo proud of myself for updating... Im REALLY gonna try to keep up with this.... haha really

well I love you all.... I must dip out (work tomorrow)

**ps i REALLY want to take swing dancing lessons lol... that would be sooo fun.... sooo who wants to do it with me.... (abby you have no choice)....anyone else????


*Iv'e been dyin to tell you
anything you wanna hear,
cuz thats just who I am this week*

YES!! Im actually home for a day. There is nothing better than flushing toilettes and refridgerators.  Sooo I guess ill go over Creation... which may I ad was awsum.

-becoming a professional hacky sacker... almost
-CHCKEN BACON RANCH SUB (you should try them theyr bangin lol)
-completeing austrailian barbie : )..... I kno your jealous
-two words... fruit X (you guys were a little too good at that) lol
-Relient K!!!!
-only getting lost once this year
-ALMOST getting a pick from Forever Changed
-"Ready or not her I come...." I dont think anyone will forget the first part of that song.
-MONKEY BREAD!!!
-The Fringe stage... which was great
-awsum tent stories
-Crazy late night mafia games....(I still havent forgiven you roderick)
-Nikki's and mine pysco greatness at whatever that mechanical word game is called
-great ultimate frisbee games... Im soo proud of everyone that we didnt break anything this time
-climbing the mountain (and waiting in line... grrr)
-Being Hawk Nelson's number one fan
-^and they signed my pick (even though I gave it to the wrong person)
-The bubble champion!!! (yeah thats right Justin) lol

And a lot of other crazy stuff. So yeah the day after I got bak i left for the Kelley Camp in Upstate New York witht the family and my grandma. Its like a seven hour trip and we literally had to stop every 30 minutes for my grandma to go to the bathroom... lol it was horrible, but we finally made it. I was soo mad cuz we only got there around dinner monday and my parents were making us leave wednesday.....grrr. But it was all good. so we had the memorial service for grandpa on Tuesday... which was really nice... except yeah... idk. It reminded me of the dentist the last time wen I literally uncontrallably started crying.... at a dentist it was horrible... but anyway..... soo we also went to the party city of Booneville and got sparklers and these wicked hot glowstick hoop earrings... lol yeah I know were cool.

We went to the crazy old cemetaries again... the one I swear is right out of a horror movie. You have to walk awhile down this trail to find it and then up a little hill and its in the middle of the woods. Theres no more than 15 graves there and a couple are all sunken in... and some how they were all related to me... there actually is a pretty creepy/cool story of how they all died. (You should ask me some time) Centia and Maria were insane and trying to dig up this gravestone that was burried in dirt... however they were unsuccessful... anyways... on the walk bak to the car were talkin about how medicines werent very good in the old day... and about how they've found scratch marks on the inside of coffins because people would get burried alive.... thats soooo scary. Anyways then (we were in a very adventurous mood) we found a broken down abandoned house that we decided we had to look inside even though it was private property... it was pretty crazy.... but it wasnt as old as I hope... we reached in and found a newspaper dated 1988.

So now I just spent the whole day packing for NC. Were leavin at 5 in the morning so of course were going to stay up all night watching family guy so that hopefully we'll be able to sleep through the 10 hour drive. It should be interesting I really dont know wat to expect... Nick and Brock better have made me a movie lol.

tata for now


~Im not falling for anymore of these tricks
Im so tired  of everything here
the sun is calling me to the west
Everyone's having fun out there

lets pack up and move to California~

Currently Watching Hitch (Widescreen Edition) By Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James (III) see related

.... Well Id say its time for an update... school is WAY out... and my dear Centia has graduated (im getting teary eyed already...... almost) along with a lot of other fabulously fabulous people that I will most definately be missing (That most certainly includes you Jen Elmo) Centia's graduation party was a success... muy divertido... but tooo short (it doesnt help that I left early for work) Then Jens party.... crazy stuff.... 1 1/2 hour twister games can get out of control. hahah

So yeah I've been playing the same guitar song for like 3 weeks now (pretty much cause its the only one that I kno) its actually pretty sad really lol. but yeah... such a great song.

Ok... so work has definately gotten more interesting... I started waitressing and of course I cant go a day without screwing something up. yeah so you kno at first Im doing great... takin orders... making salads... cleaning tables... etc etc... then I go to deliver four drinks to this familiy....

I spilled orange soda all over the little girl....

and she was in a little pink dress....

with shiny white shoes....

and she looked like she was gonna cry....

OMG I felt SOOOOOOOO bad.... they had to take her bak to the hotel or something to get changed and then she came bak and ate.... at least they were REALLY nice and understanding... but it was soooo horrible...

but now its kinda funny lol.... but stilll... NOT GOOD

the rest of the night I carried all the drinks instead of using a tray lol

soooo now im leavin on sunday for pretty much a month straight... first to the creation festival for a week... that should be exciting... hopefully we dont brake anything this year... although that was pretty funny... two times in two days... that has to be a record. Then literally the day after I come bak... Im leaving for upstate New York to the Kelley camp with the fam. Were having a memeorial service for my grandpa, but other than that... it should be the usual 5 trips to West lyden a day.... driving... movie making.... pimped out DP's.... DP's while we attempt to do dishes (maybe we wont brake any this year.... or not... graveyard hunting.... HOPEFULLY this year we wont get lost for 2 hours and end up in Boonville....Swimming in the oh so lovely creek.... and what would camp be without showering in the Falls

Then I think I have one day in between there to unpack... wash my clothes.... and repack everything for South Carolina with NIkki. Im so excited... maybe welll find some new spoons.... ahhh thats going to be too much fun.

~If you want it, you can have it
but you gotta learn to reach out there and grab it~